One Hundred and Twenty Minutes
by carlycarter
Summary: As Emily struggles to integrate herself back into the BAU, the building is locked down. Emily & JJ become embroiled in a bitter argument over a case. The rest of the team witness as the situation quickly turns into something more...
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1 **_

There is a distinct feeling of uneasiness hanging heavily in the air.

And they wouldn't have to be a group of world class profilers to sense it.

The tension is palpable when the team return to the building. Still, no one asks. No one speaks.

It's not that tension is unusual among the team recently. There had been a fluctuating state of unrest and uneasiness since Emily's miraculous resurrection from the dead. It was to be expected.

Some thing were expected, anyway. Some things came as no surprise at all to Emily Prentiss.

Like Morgan, and his quiet intense rage. The way he tries to shield Emily from his anger, his soul crushing guilt. He is afraid that any protest or complaint he offered would nullify his joy at her being alive and well. So he tries to hide it. But Emily sees. And his attempts to hide it only serve to drive the wedge further between them. But he _is_ trying, and Emily tells herself 'time will heal.'

She had anticipated Morgan's rage, as surely as she had anticipated Garcia's joy and forgiveness. Her unconditional embrace. There were nights Emily had cried herself to sleep longing for those arms around her. Emily knew, just knew, Garcia would be the one to take Sergio under her wing, that she didn't have to worry for him. Garcia was just purely happy to see her friend alive. No questions asked. Garcia is a remarkable person and it's a special kind of friendship. Yet, sometimes, Emily cant quite meet her gaze. Because its feels just a little wrong that Garcia isn't even a little bit angry at the betrayal.

And Hotch? Well. Emily had received from him exactly what she'd been expecting- nothing. He always played his cards close to his chest. And he had the advantage of knowing all along that she wasn't dead. The fact that he opened the door for her to return to the team, that he stood in front of Reid and took the blame, that spoke all Emily needed to know.

And Rossi. He had always been there, a friend and confidant. He supported Emily without question after Matthew died. The whole team had, in their own way, But Rossi was the one who stood by her side, took her by the hand, absorbed her long kept secret shame. He looks to Emily now the way he did then. Kindly. Almost fatherly. Though she know she is getting far too old to look towards him in that light.

Then there were the things Emily had not expected.

Reid, shattered like a motherless child. His shameless confession that he had cried for months after losing Emily. His admission that he was tempted back to Dilaudid. The ferocity of his anger at JJ over keeping the secret. Emily herself, along with Hotch, somehow escaped unscathed. JJ bore the brunt of his fury. And had done so to protect Emily.

However, after the initial upheaval, there had been a seamless transition of Agent Prentiss back into the team. After all, people come, people go. JJ most of all. She was had been there, bright and shining. Then gone just like that. Then here again, gone tomorrow. And even though "the gang's all here" now, it's not the same. Not when it's so damn easy for people to slip away.

Emily casts her mind back, to the time she had resigned from the BAU to prove her integrity. How much it hurt. How her heart burst with painful hope when Aaron Hotchner showed up at her door. Asking for her to return. Offering his outstretched hand, offering her a second chance as part of the BAU family.

And now here she is, back with the team.

There is only frustrated silence as she, Morgan, Reid, Garcia and JJ enter the conference room for mandatory debriefing.

The case had been blown to hell in the worst possible way. They all know it.

Which is why it grates on Emily's nerves to her JJ's nonchalant comment. "Well, things could be worse."

Emily can't help but scoff at her. "Could be worse? He gets to go free, no consequences, no justice for the victims, and god knows how many more victims out there?" Emily prefers silent anger, but she has been caught off guard by the events of the day, and the words just come out, sounding a hell of a lot more angry than she intended.

"Settle." Morgan tells her. "It's not JJ's fault. We all need to remember who the bad guy is, and not turn on each other."

Garcia makes her way over to Emily, trying surreptitiously to lay her arms around her friend protectively, to calm her down, but she knows already Emily will only push her away. She still tries, she always tries, that's the thing about Garcia.

"Whose fault is it?" Emily spits.

"If you're waiting for me to apologise – you have a long wait." JJ taunts, folding her arms defiantly in front of her chest.

"An apology is the last thing I'd expect from you." Emily acknowledges. There is bitterness in her tone now, far disproportionate to the situation. "You're pleased aren't you? Pleased with yourself?" It finally dawns on Emily.

"Pleased that I saved you from being killed by a psychopath serial killer? Well, yes, Agent Prentiss, I'm rather pleased with myself." JJ informs her. She tries to sound confident, but it only comes across sounding defensive.

"He wasn't going to kill me!" Emily shouts. "Did you even read the profile? Everything was perfect, I almost had him, then you showed up, _Jennifer_." The other woman's name slips icily of Emily's tongue.

"The trouble with you, _Emily_.. "JJ inserts the other woman's name here deliberately, mimicking Emily's bitter use of her own name. "Is that you can never see when you are in over your head. He knew you were a fed. He would have killed you." JJ tells her.

"You're wrong." Emily announces with a slight arrogance.

"Because you're a world class profiler and I'm not?" JJ asks, furrowing her brow in annoyance.

"Did I say that?" Emily answers the question with a question.

"Or because your last undercover mission ended so damn successfully!" JJ has raised her voice now. She is coming across as angry. She doesn't know if the others can see it, probably they can, they _are_ profilers, but she is fighting back tears. Not Emily though. Emily can't see it. Emily is too caught up in her own head. Emily has always been like that.

The others shift uncomfortably, not wanting to be in the centre of an argument between the two woman. They are all staring, in the unobtrusive way of trying not to stare. And Emily chooses to shrug off JJ's comment and sit, in silent defeat.

It's at that moment Hotch and Rossi appear in the conference room. There is an instant change of tone, as if they are children, as if their father has walked in on them misbehaving. Hotch waits for each and every one of them to sit in compliance before making his announcement.

"I think we are all aware this is not the outcome we had hoped for. The responsibility is mine. This was my plan, and in hindsight it may have been too soon to put Emily in a situation like that."

"_I_ didn't do anything _wrong_." Emily declares defiantly.

Before Hotch can answer, JJ stands to her feet, towering over Emily. "Did it occur to you, even once, what it was like for the rest of us to watch you in that man's clutches, so soon after we thought you were dead?" JJ can't quite meet Emily in the eye.

The others squirm in their seats. Hotch takes a step back. Perhaps better to let them get it all out in the open. Lay it to rest once and for all.

"_You_ never thought I was dead." Emily shoots back without missing a beat, but the venom in her voice is gone. As she thinks of the others, Mogan, Reid, Garcia, Rossi. Perhaps it had been a lot to ask them to sit back and watch her undercover, getting up close and personal to a serial killer. Still, none of them had a problem. They all had enough faith in her to get the job done. They had trusted her with the undercover mission. It was JJ who hadn't trusted her. JJ who had blown it.

"Alright." Hotch calls everyone to order. "I think we need to take a step back, be grateful everyone is fine. It's been a long day, a long few months. Lets all go home and get some sleep. We'll meet back in the morning. 8 am. Don't be late." Hotch orders.

"And he just gets away with it?" Reid can't help but ask.

"The local police know who he is, they're watching. That's all we can do." Hotch tries to hide his frustration at the situation behind his eerily calm voice.

"Well that's just wonderful." Emily mutters under her breath.

Hotch shoots her a disapproving gaze, and she bites her tongues, shaking her head as she picks up her belongings and heads for the door.

It's been one of those days when all anyone wants to do is grab their bags, and get home to a nice shower and bed. It's the one thing that keeps Emily going. She is almost home. Just a few more minutes with her professional face plastered on. Then she is free to break down in any way she chooses. Then she can relax. She can let the tears fall. She can sit alone, in the dark, and draw her knees up to her chest and rock herself to sleep.

But then the doors to the building snap shut suddenly.

"Oh, come on, not today." Morgan mutters under his breath.

The team look to Hotch, who at that exact minute has received a phone call. He turns from the probing eyes of his team. "_Yes, I understand"_ He says into his phone. _"How long? I see. Thank you for the call."_

When he is finished, Aaron Hotchner looks down to the face of his team members, exhausted and weary.

"I'm sorry. The building is locked down for the next two hours. No one in, no one out."

"What is it this time?" Rossi asks.

"I'm not privy to the reason." Hotch informs them, and it's plain to see.

There is a collective groan, the team drop their bags, remove their coats, and settle in for the immediate future. It had happened several times lately. Some kind of security drill or training exercise. No one knew for sure. Mostly the team passed the time joking around, generally having fun, watching movies, catching up on reading, chatting and laughing, shut off from the world. As if for a moment in time they could pretend there was no such thing as murder and rape and all the harrowing, tormenting, heart breaking things they see every day.

Today, however, everyone is a little on edge. And the feeling of being shut in for two hours with the team is suffocating. Hotch and Rossi make a hasty exit, leaving the rest of the team in the conference room.

"Unbelievable, I don't have time for this today." Emily announces. She isn't talking _to _anyone, its a general complaint. "That's three times this month."

JJ rolls her eyes "Uhuh" She mumbles in response, clearly unimpressed. To the untrained eye it may seem JJ's dissatisfaction was at the situation, the lock down. But in a room full of profilers it's plain to see her bitter gesture was for Emily's benefit.

"Something you want to say JJ?" Emily asks.

"Please, girls, stop this." Garcia begs, but no one pays her any attention.

"We all know its three times this month. No need to go on about it." JJ snaps. "There is nothing we can do about it. I have a baby at home waiting for me, you don't hear me complaining."

"Yes." Emily shakes her head without missing a beat. "We all know you have a baby."

"What is that supposed to mean?" JJ demands, slipping into her fierce mother protector mode.

"Nothing." Emily raises her hands in surrender, but her eyes gleam with something else.

"Are you implying I can't do my job because I'm a mother?" JJ suggests.

"You said it." Emily retorts, without committing herself one way or the other.

"Hey!" Morgan interrupts. "Ladies, come on."

"I resent that, Emily." JJ tells her.

"You saying you never let the fact you're a mother affect you on the job?" Emily asks. It's genuine curiosity mixed with incredulity dripping from her voice. "Look how you reacted today, You totally lost your head."

"I acted in the best interests of the team, and being a mother has nothing to do with that." JJ defends herself.

"That's not strictly true. "Reid interjects. "There was that one case, the psychic, you reacted emotionally and not rationally. You tried to steer the team to the wrong location. You didn't trust the profile because you related to the mother losing her child." Poor Reid isn't even aware of the war going on around him, his words aren't cruel, just stating a fact. But JJ is feeling decidedly ganged up against.

"Shut up, kid." Morgan hisses at him, playfully slapping him across the head.

"So I made a mistake, one mistake, one case, years ago. I believed something I wanted to believe. You never made a mistake, Emily?" JJ directs her comments to Emily, even though it had been Reid who inadvertently attacked her.

"Believe me, I've made plenty." Emily acknowledges. If not for the others in the room, she would have spelled out to JJ just what her greatest mistake was.

"Nobody throws your mistakes in your face, Emily."

"Isn't that exactly what you do, JJ?" Emily asks. The anger is gone. Her voice is soft, almost sad.

JJ sits back down at the table, cradling her head in her hands. Now, there is no hiding the tears that are about to fall. Emily doesn't understand it. Doesn't understand what she has said that suddenly turned JJ's eyes from angry to sad. Only that somehow she is the bad guy. Like always. She may be stuck in the building for two hours, but she isn't stuck in that conference room. Emily doesn't even stop to collect her belongings. She merely stands, so calmly, so confidently, that the others are barely aware she has even moved, until they hear the door click softly shut behind her.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2. **_

_**Earlier that day...**_

"It's just...you lied to me." JJ whispers in the cold darkness of the basement where she and Emily are huddled together trying to stay warm. They have been captured by a crazed serial killer. It's hardly the time for a deep and meaningful conversation. Yet, there is a sense of urgency, as if this might be their last day on earth, their last chance. Besides, there is nothing else to do to pass the time.

"I never lied to you." Emily insists, taking JJ by the hand.

"You have this whole secret past you never told me about." JJ explains.

"I couldn't tell you, I couldn't tell anyone." Initially, Emily is trying to reassure JJ, to smooth things over. She stares at the other woman pleadingly. But nothing is getting through to her. And in that moment, Emily snaps. "Besides, It's not like you never lied to me JJ." It's Emily's bitter tone rather than the accusation itself that gets JJ's back up.

"You wanna go dragging up ancient history like .. that?" JJ asks in disbelief as she relinquishes Emily's hand.

"You're dragging up my past, things that happened to me before I even met you." Emily responds.

"Not just '_things'_ Emily. You had a whole secret life. I don't know who you are, who you were."

"You know me JJ, You know me better than anyone, ever, I showed myself to you in a way I never have to anyone." Emily insists. Silently she adds, _and you rejected me._

"You never told me you had an abortion when you were 15." JJ finally blurts out, as if this was the thing bothering her all along.

"Rossi told you that?" Emily asks with horror as she scrambles to her feet. Instantly she berates herself for confiding in him in the first place. But she needed to get it off her chest. Before it consumed her.

JJ stands to her feet a second later and looks straight into Emily's eyes "Rossi knows? You told Rossi and you never told me?" JJ asks is horror, hurt and anger in her eyes. "This gets better and better."

"If Rossi didn't tell you..." Emily has long abandoned hope of reaching JJ, of rekindling anything they shared. And she isn't going to sit there and justify why she had not felt safe to confide in JJ at the time. She needs to know how JJ found out about this.

"When you took off, the team had to profile you, they did some digging." JJ informs her.

"They profiled me?" Emily asks in quiet disbelief.

"What did you expect? Yes, they profiled you. As a victim. To save your life. Don't go getting all high and mighty. If you had told someone what was going on, if you had trusted even one of us, then maybe the team wouldn't have had to profile you."

Emily knows JJ has a point. Knows she has lost the moral high ground. She doesn't know why she is so surprised. Emily leans back against the basement wall, as if she is going to collapse. "So. Everyone knows everything about me." She whispers into the darkness. She feels violated. Exposed. Judged. Like she can never face them again. Not one of them.

"Emily..." There is tenderness in JJ's voice again. JJ reaches out to stroke her hair, the way she always used to do, to comfort Emily. The way she had on Emily's first night 'back from the dead' when they had made love so tenderly.

Emily closes her eyes. She wants to fall into JJ's embrace and let JJ sweep all this away, but she can't. She is so filled with horror and shame, that she angrily pulls away from JJs touch.

JJ sighs wearily. "God, Emily, get over yourself. Why does it bug you so much. No one judges you. Everyone is so glad to have you back, why can't you just accept that?"

"Are you glad, JJ?" Emily asks while her back is turned to the other woman.

"You know I am. Didn't I show you that?" JJ asks as she pulls Emily into her embrace from behind, gently kissing her neck.

Emily wants to give in so badly. But she can't let herself. She just can't. "So." Emily asks. "That night? Was just a one off expression of your happiness to see me?"

"You know I have a husband, a baby. It's complicated." JJ starts on that long string of justification and excuses. Round and round in circles.

"Believe me, you made that very clear." Emily tells her bitterly.

"It is what it is, we have no choice in it. We've been through all this before Em." JJ tells her gently, reaching forward and caressing her cheek. "It doesn't mean that you're not important to me."

This time, Emily doesn't pull away. "You had a choice, JJ. You aren't the innocent victim." Emily tells her.

"What choice did I have?" JJ wants to know, her anger rising again, and she is the one to withdraw from Emily this time.

"You had a choice not to date Will behind my back for a year, how about that? Obviously I was never enough for you. You choose him. I can live with that JJ. But at least admit you made a choice. Own it. Do me that courtesy." Emily spits at her.

"What you're really saying, is that I should have aborted my baby, like you did?" Comes the accusation from JJ's mouth.

Somehow, now that Henry is a living breathing little boy with a cheeky grin and angelic blonde curly hair, it seems such a heinous thing to think. But the thought had crossed Emily's mind, way back then. How simple it would have been if there was no baby. Of course, Emily never believed the baby was the deciding factor for JJ. The baby was something JJ hid behind.

"I'm saying- this is the 21st century. You had a choice. And that's all I'm saying." Emily insists. "And you had a choice about Will long before you got pregnant." Emily adds.

"Abortion was never an option. I believe life begins at conception. It was never an option for me." JJ tells her.

"So, what you're saying is- abortion is murder. You're saying that I murdered my baby." Emily clarifies.

"Don't put words into my mouth. I'm saying, I'm entitled to my belief and you're entitled to yours. I suppose I'm not allowed to have an opinion on anything in your life, not allowed to even know anything abut you." JJ adds sarcastically.

"I never, ever, suggested you should have had an abortion. I never told you what to do, about Will, about the baby, about anything. Ever, JJ." Emily is fighting back tears as she proclaims this. It's the one thing she is proud of. She let JJ go without humiliating herself and begging JJ to choose her. And now JJ is trying to take even that one thing away.

"No, you never did." JJ concedes. "Because it never mattered to you. You never told me to stop seeing Will, you never gave me a reason to. How should I know what you wanted?" It's a fair question but Emily has no answer.

"If you didn't know how I felt about you then just forget it, it's not worth even talking about this." Emily knows she is being unfair, that she had always been unfair in her expectations of JJ.

"I'm supposed to read your mind now?" JJ asks. "I know that you thought everything was my fault. That's something I know. You thought I was responsible for every bad thing in your life. Do you know how long I carried that around, Emily? Only to find years later that I never even knew you. You had a whole secret life before you joined the BAU. That not every bad thing that happened to you was my fault."

"I never blamed you for anything!" Emily yells. The words don't ring true. Emily had never outwardly blamed JJ. In fact, she never really believed JJ made the wrong choice in Will, in the family. It still hurt.

"Garcia told me, that night, my wedding night, she came to you apartment. She was worried about you. Found you passed out, with an empty pill bottle in your hand." JJ tells her in a shaky voice.

"Garcia told you that?" The betrayal stings. Emily feels dizzy with the knowledge every deep dark part of her life open for the team to inspect and judge and ridicule.

"Don't be mad at Garcia. She was worried about you. Do you know how it made me feel to hear about it from her? How responsible I felt? I am sorry I hurt you Emily, but I can't take feeling like I ruined your whole life with my one choice. Not when you never even had the courage to tell me that you loved me."

"I never blamed you, I never asked you to take the blame, I didn't even know you knew about that night." Emily's manages to say.

"Why did you take those pills? On my wedding night?" JJ asks the question that has been eating away at her for years.

"Why do you think, JJ?" Is all the explanation Emily is willing to offer her.

JJ doesn't answer. "You never said a word. You never lifted a finger to stop me being with Will. What was I supposed to make of that? I was so scared to ask you why you'd done it. Garcia told me to leave it alone, to leave you alone. So I did. But I never stopped blaming myself for hurting you like that."

Emily can hardly breathe, she can't think, so many feelings are crashing down around her and she frantically tries to compartmentalise them before they consume her. She manages, somehow, to push it all aside for a moment. As long as it takes for her to turn to JJ and do her best to comfort her, to lay the past to rest. "Nothing was your fault JJ, and I never thought it was."

With that, the two woman sit, silently, at opposite ends of the room, and wait for the team to find them.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thanks so much for all the comments, it means the world :) **_

_**Chapter 3 **_

She is courteous enough to knock before barging in to Aaron Hotchner's office, but she doesn't wait for a response. He doesn't reprimand her though, feeling that any angry words on his part will only add fuel to the fire.

"This lockdown is ridiculous!" Emily shouts at Hotch as he sits behind a mountain of paperwork on his desk. She doesn't even acknowledge Rossi's presence in the room.

"I'm afraid it's out of my hands, as you well know." Aaron Hotchner is speaking the truth, she does know it, his frustration at being kept in the dark and locked down with no explanation is evident.

Rossi clears his throat. "I'll come back later." He offers.

Emily looks at him quizzically for a moment "Why bother, there are no secrets around this place." Emily says brightly that you could be forgiven for missing entirely the deep seated bitterness in her tone

"If there is something you'd like to talk about, Agent Prentiss." Hotch begins, and motions for her to take a seat.

"No, I don't want to talk about anything. I want to get the hell out of here." She insists, as she remains standing, towering over him.

"There is nothing I can do." He repeats, dismissively.

She pauses for a moment, as if she is considering her next move. "Is it some kind of punishment?" She wants to know. "Because the case fell apart?"

He sighs, and shoots a weary glance towards Rossi, before turning back to Emily and responding.

"Emily, I understand its been a difficult day, a difficult transition. So I am going to pretend you didn't just accuse me of fabricating this lockdown as a punishment towards you, or anyone else on this team. I can assure you that is not the case. I have better things to be doing with my time and energy. I would have hoped you knew me better than that." Hotch tries to keep his voice even and calm, but even he is struggling.

Emily has no response. But she isn't quite satisfied enough to walk away.

"Things ended badly." Rossi acknowledges gently. "But we have to move forward.. The team is safe, there are other cases. We have to let this one go." He encourages her.

"People out there aren't safe." Emily insists. "Not while he is on the loose."

"The police have his identity, his profile, its just a matter of time before he strikes again, and they will get him." Rossi continues. He makes it sounds so easy. But Emily still can't accept it.

"They'll get him." Emily agrees. "After someone else gets killed." She adds chillingly.

"What would you have me do about it?" Aaron Hotchner genuinely wants to know, as he sits back in his chair, opening his hands to her. His frustration is growing by the second. "Please, tell me. Believe me if I could turn back time I would re-think my decisions about how we handled the case. But there is nothing I can do to change the outcome now." There is an anger in his tone that doesn't suit him. Something she has seen only on rare occasions in the past. But she still can't back off.

"No." Emily disagrees. "The plan was solid. And I had him eating out of my hand. This shouldn't have happened."

"JJ felt you were in danger." Hotch explains.

"She was wrong!" Emily insists. "She should have trusted me!"

"We have to trust each other, every day, with out lives, with other people's lives. JJ made a judgement call, and we have to respect that. We'll never know who was right and who was wrong. Perhaps Agent Jareau over reacted. Or perhaps it's your own judgement that's lacking. Quite frankly, the way you are acting, makes me lean towards the latter." Hotch tells her harshly.

"I see." Emily acknowledges, and she realises in that moment it's not just JJ who didn't trust her. Hotch didn't trust her either.

"Well, why did you put me on this case in the first place?" Emily asks.

"I have already explained that was an error in judgement on my part. The case ended badly. It's no one persons fault. If It makes you feel better to blame someone, for the case, the lock down, by all means take your frustration out on me. But not the rest of the team. Is that understood?"

"Understood, Sir." She answers, plastering a hardened expression on her face so that it was impossible to see what was really going on behind those dark eyes.

"That was a bit harsh." Rossi tell him after Emily has left the office.

"I don't know how else to get through to her. We all have to move on from this case. I don't know why she is having such a hard time letting it go."

"Maybe there is something else going on?" Rossi suggests.

"That's what worries me." Hotch acknowledges.

"With JJ you mean?" Rossi probes.

"I don't know. They have history. I thought it was all swept under the carpet. Years ago. They have both moved on, both come and gone from the team since. Something isn't right this time. I'm not sure I really want to know what it is. I always feared what would happen if they let their personal lives, their relationship, interfere with the job. But then JJ married Will, started a family, and the team went on. I never noticed either one of them bringing personal issues to work. I don't know what happened between them years ago, or why suddenly now they are at each others throats. But I can't have this, bringing personal issues to the work place, affecting a case like this. Whatever happens outside the work place is not my business. But when it starts to affect the team, I am going to have to put a stop to it. "

"You think JJ made the right call?" Rossi asks.

"I don't know. I don't think either one of them is above reproach at the moment. I'm sure JJ believed there was danger. Emily believes there wasn't. Morgan was there with JJ, he wasn't concerned about Emily. He would have pulled her out if he felt she was in danger. But I'm not convinced Emily had the situation as under control as she thought she did."

"Meaning?" Rossi asks.

"Just a feeling. Something in her eyes. Something about the way she is so angry at JJ. The way she can't step back and put herself in JJ's shoes. She can't let the case go. It makes me wonder..." His voice trailled off

"Say it."

"I wonder how far Emily would have gone to catch this guy. If she would have let herself get killed, become his next victim.

"It crossed my mind." Rossi admits.

"I was hoping you'd tell me I was crazy, I don't believe in profiling the team. You know that. But keep an eye on her."

"Sure." Hotch didn't have to ask him. He's always had a soft spot for Emily, and he can sense something deeply bothering her. "It's been a long day, like you said. Let everyone calm down, sleep on it. Maybe things will fall back into place tomorrow?" Dave says optimistically.

"I hope you're right. I've got a bad feeling about this." Hotch replies ominously.

"They'll catch the guy, don't beat yourself up." Rossi assures him.

"It's not the unsub I'm worried about." Comes the reply.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

Garcia brings JJ a glass of water, hovering over her, Morgan and Reid have hastily made their excuses, not really wanting to deal with a crying team member.

"Are you ok Jayj?" She asks.

"Im sorry, I'm so embarrassed, I don't know what got into me. I'm fine, really." JJ tries to tell her.

"It's been a really hard case, it's ok that it gets to you. You wouldn't be human if it didn't get to you now and then." Garcia assures her as she sits beside her, stroking her back.

"I just couldn't let anything happen to her." JJ whispers.

"I know." Garcia nods. "You did the right thing. I hate it when you guys are out on a dangerous case. I can't rest until I see all of you coming through those doors safe and sound. You're all ok, that's all that matters."

"They blame me that he got away. Emily is so sure she is right, that I messed up. And I know the others think so too. They all agree with her. And maybe they are right, they have a lot more experience than me. I think I really messed up this time. And Emily hates me for it."

"You did what you had to. No one blames you."

"Did you hear Emily just then?" JJ asks incredulously.

"Ok, she's upset too, that's how she reacts, you know that, she lashes out. She didn't mean it Jayj. Let her cool off. She'll get over it. And no one else blames you."

"No one else stuck up for me, either. Morgan was there with me, he didn't think there was any danger. Maybe I was wrong, Maybe I messed it all up. But you know what- I still don't care. She is safe and that's all that matters."

"I whole heartedly agree. Em will get over it, you'll see. Don't stress."

"It's not just the case." JJ admits.

Garcia looks away awkwardly "Oh."

"I'm sorry. I don't want to put you in the middle. I shouldn't have said anything." JJ is quick to take back her words.

Garcia looks away a moment. "I don't like being in the middle of you two fighting. And I won't take sides, I love you both so much. But if you need to talk, I'll listen. I can't get involved, but I'll listen if you need to get something off your chest. But don't you think you should be talking to Em about whatever it is?"

"Every time we talk..." JJ's eyes cloud over again. "I don't know why it's like this. I always believed she cares about me."

"JJ, she does, believe me." Garcia acknowledges.

"And I care about her more than I can ever tell you. But why does it always end up like this? Hurting each other so deeply?" JJ asks.

"What happened?" Garcia prompts. "Tell me."

"What do you mean?" JJ is confused.

"You say '_why does it always end up like this'?_ I haven't seen _'this_' for a long long time. Not since ….." Garcia's voice trails off.

"Not since I married Will." JJ finishes.

"Well, frankly, yes. I thought you had moved past that. I've never seen you and Em fight like that in front of the team, or bring your personal problems to work. I really thought you both made peace and moved on. I mean I know how difficult it was for you both, but why is it such an issue again now?"

"We did. Move on. Sort of. I guess. But then. Emily and I spent the night together recently." JJ admits.

"When?"

"Her first night back." JJ answers. "You know what it was like. Everyone thought she was dead, and even though I knew she was alive, I thought she was lost to me. Then she was back, and she was ok, and everything went back to normal, and it just...happened."

"Ok." Is all Garcia can manage.

"I know I'm a married woman. I'm not being fair to Emily or to Will." JJ admits.

"I wasn't going to say that. It's not my place to judge. I'm curious though, after all this time. I mean it's the first time since your wedding, I mean _that I know of_..."

"Yes. It is."

"So it was just a one time thing?"

"Emily asked me that too."

"Sorry it's not my business." Garcia scrambles.

"It's ok. It's a fair question. I wasn't thinking about Will. I know I never loved him in the way I loved her. I love him, but not like that. And being with her was just like...coming home. I don't ever want to lose that again, to lose her. But I know it can never happen for us."

"Because of your family." Garcia states.

"No. That was never the reason." JJ confesses.

"The job?" Garcia asks.

"Nope." JJ answers.

"What is the reason then, JJ?" Garcia is dying of curiosity.

"I think I should talk to Emily about that." JJ answers after an awkward silence.

"I think you're right." Garcia agrees.

Garcia sits, tapping her finger nervously on the table top, clearly something bothering her.

"Spit it out, if there is something you want to say. I know I'm a married woman. I know what you're thinking." JJ tells her.

"I wasn't thinking that. I wasn't thinking about your husband for even one second." Garcia is quick to reply.

"What then?" JJ is almost afraid to ask.

"It's not my place, and it's been a long day."

"Say it, I can take it." JJ urges her. "I'm the one who told you about this and brought you into it. Say what's on your mind."

"JJ, please. You have to be careful. You can't just '_let things happen'_ like that. You know she isn't as strong as she makes out. Especially not when it comes to you. I just don't understand why you would do this to her again?"

"It's not like I raped her, She seduced me if you must know!" JJ answers defensively.

"Too much information." Garcia tells her. "And I didn't mean to imply it was your fault..."

"You don't think I'm hurting too?" JJ wants to know.

"I know you are. And I'm sorry. I hate to see either of you hurting. But you have a husband, a family. That's what you choose. Just please be careful. With her. I don't think you realise..."

"I realise, ok." JJ cuts her off. "I realise it's all my fault, that's what you think isn't it? I hurt her all those years ago, so badly she tried to kill herself. Because I'm such a terrible person."

"JJ! I didn't say that!" Garcia protests.

"You don't know anything that happened between us back then, you don't know anything about what's happening now, and you still blame me for everything!"

"I don't blame anyone, JJ please." Garcia pleads.

"It takes two people you know, to get together, to grow apart. She had a choice that night she spent with me. I'm not responsible for her, she is a grown woman."

"I know that, JJ, come on. I'm just saying be careful, ok?. I don't even wanna walk in on something like that again. My best friend passed out, empty pill bottle in her hands, and this vacant stare in her eyes. I thought she was dead. I never judged you. I never told you what to do, nor Emily. I'm just asking you, begging you, please be careful. JJ? Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad. You're right." JJ acknowledges reluctantly.

"And both of you have to settle this out of work. The others will start talking. This is not like you, I've never seen either of you bring it to work." Garcia warns her.

"Yeah, ok. I know you're right. Garcia? Would you do me one favor?" JJ asks.

"Name it."

"Go see if Emily is ok? If I go, we'll end up in an argument, and make everything worse. I don't know why this happens. Why we hurt each other so deeply. You have no idea how much she means to me."

"Oh I think I have some idea. Don't worry, she'll be ok. You'll sort it out, whatever happens , I know you both care about each other. And you know I love you both, right?"

"Yeah, thanks Garcia." Is what JJ says. But she can't deny she is a little hurt by Garcia's comments. As if JJ was the bad guy, as if she had deliberately meant to hurt Emily. As if she wasn't hurting just as much as Emily was.

But still, she lets Garcia catch her in a tight embrace, before she leaves the room to check on Emily.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5 **_

Rossi doesn't have to look far to find Emily. She is still on the landing, leaning up agaisnt the rail, looking down to the empty bull pen.

"Emily." He calls to her.

She doesn't turn to face him. "What?"

"I just wondered if you want to get a coffee?"

"Not now." She tells him.

He places his hand on her arm. Not forcefully, just to gain her attention.

She flinches and pulls away as she spins to face him.

"Sorry." He tells her. "I just wanted to talk, just one minute. Please."

It's the look in his eyes that makes Emily sick. Something like pity. Something like she is about to break and he thinks he can fix her. But she gives in and follows him into his office.

"What?" She asks him , as he closes the door for privacy.

"I just want to make sure you're ok." He tells her gently.

"No, you don't." She exclaims.

"Excuse me?" He responds, a little hurt by her attitude towards him.

"What do you really want, Rossi?" Emily asks wearily.

"I can see you're struggling with this case." He observes.

"I'm not struggling. With anything." She asserts.

"I just want you to know, my door is always open, if you want to talk."

"Ok. Well thanks for that." There is a trace of sarcasm in her voice. She stands to her feet and makes a move towards the door. She pictures the team sitting round the conference table, profiling her, talking about her as if she were a criminal.

"It's been a rough day, but it'll get better." Rossi calls out after her. He is convincing in what he says, and she wants to believe in him.

The conference room has been abandoned, and upon leaving Rossi's office Emily notices that the others have scattered across the bull pen. They are pretending they are engrossed in their individual tasks and not watching her every move and wishing to be a fly on the wall of the office.

Emily makes no eye contact with the others, she feels ashamed about her earlier outburst, about the way she had made JJ cry. She keeps her eyes glued forward and her pace steady as she makes a beeline for the conference room. Once inside, she sits for a moment, just a moment. Cradling her head in her hands the way JJ had done. She nearly jumps out of her skin as she feels the hand on her back.

"I'm so sorry!" Garcia apologises. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's ok." Emily tells her.

Garcia sits beside her friend. She has barely opened her mouth to say "I just worry so much about you." and the tears start falling.

Emily has to take a deep breath to squash the frustration rising in her. First JJ, now Garcia. She wishes everyone would just damn well stop crying.

Emily pulls her into a tight embrace, assuring her. "You don't have to worry. I'm fine."

"I'm so glad." Garcia says, drying her tears. "It's just ever since, well, when I thought you'd died...and I just couldn't stand to lose you again."

"I'm sorry." Emily tells her, and it's sincere. She can still feel that knife of guilt twisting inside her at the way she had left the team hanging, believing she was dead.

"Don't apologise. I didn't come for that. I came to make sure you're ok." Garcia explains.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry I lost my temper before."

"Don't be mad at JJ." Garcia pleads. "You know I hate it when my girls are angry at each other.

"I'm not mad at JJ." Emily begins, but she is forced to laugh out loud when she sees Garcia's incredulous expression.

"Ok, I was a little mad at JJ, I'm sorry. It's nothing, don't worry about it. I'll apologise later." Emily promises.

"I wasn't there, and I'm not a profiler. I don't know much about the case at all. But what I do know is I hate it any time any of you are in danger. I don't know if JJ made a mistake or not. But I know that IF she did, it's because she cares so much about you. She did it to protect you."

Garcia is trying to comfort Emily and exonerate JJ at the same time, but it can't be done. Every time Emily tells herself it wasn't JJ's fault- that leaves her only one option- it was her fault. And hers alone. Hotch as much as said so himself.

"You're right Garcia, you weren't there. And you don't know what you're talking about. If it wasn't JJ's fault that he got away, then it must have been mine. That's what you mean, isn't it?"

"No Em, it was no one's fault. That's what I'm saying. You all did your best, and it was no one's fault."

Emily doesn't answer, she fixes her gaze into the distance to avoid Garcia's probing eyes.

"Em, If you wanna talk, you can always talk to me. You know that right?" Garcia asks.

"There is one thing I want to ask you." Emily finally says.

"Name it."

"I want you to know I'm not angry at you. I'm disappointed. But I don't blame you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry I put you in that position in the first place."

"What position?"

"Do you remember JJ's wedding night?" Emily asks.

"Of course I do. That was a long time ago. Emily, are you ok?"

"Why did you tell her?" Emily asks softly.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb. You told JJ about how you found me, overdosed on those pills."

"It was a long long time ago Em."

"Did you tell her or not? Who else did you tell?"

"Does it matter? It's history."

"I'm not angry, I just need to know." Emily tells her, her expression is emotionless, her voice steady.

"Yes I told JJ, I was worried about you. No I never told anyone else. What does it matter now?"

"It matters now because, no offence, but you would be the last person I'd confide in if I did want to talk." Emily tells her coldly.

"Emily." Garcia begins "I was worried about you, because I care. I told JJ because she cares about you too. People care about you. You are part of a family, not just a team. Anything that anyone ever did, me, JJ, anyone, is because we care about you. Tell me you understand that."

"I never asked you to care."

"Well too bad. That's the deal around here." Garcia tells her firmly. "You don't get a say in that."

"I'm sorry you got dragged into anything that happened between me and JJ. I'm sorry for all the times I've cried on your shoulder, I'm sorry you had to find me that night, that you got dragged into a situation that was so distressing for you. I'm sorry most of all that you bothered taking me to the hospital. If you actually cared about me, you would have been better off leaving me to die that night." There is no malice in her words, only simple truth. Which is why it cuts Garcia to the core.

"Em, please don't say things like that." The color has drained from her face. "Emily, take that back. Emily, talk to me!" Garcia has moved from tearful pleading to shouting.

Emily regrets the words as soon as she said them. They were childish and ridiculous and they made Garcia cry. And mad as she is at herself, at the world, at the fact her intimate secrets have been shared around the team, she can't leave Garcia there sobbing.

"I'm sorry. It was a stupid thing to say. I'm sorry. It's been a long day, I have a headache. I'm sorry for everything. I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow ok?" Emily tries to smooth things over.

"You can't go home, the lockdown." Garcia reminds her.

But Emily picks up her bag and strolls out of the conference room as if she hadn't heard.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

She strides up to the front doors. She hears Garcia calling her name, but she wont stop, she wont turn. She hears then Garcia calling for Morgan. And before she knows it, he is standing in her path, blocking her exit.

"Hey, Prentiss. Where you going?" Morgan demands.

"Stay if you want to, but I'm going home." Emily tells him.

The commotion has drawn Hotch and Rossi down from their offices. And Reid, JJ, and Garcia watch on helplessly as the scene unfolds around them.

"What's going on?" Hotch demands in his best no-nonsense tone.

The two guards on the outside of the glass door are eyeing the dispute with curiosity. Hotch waves at them, indicating that everything is ok. But they don't turn their gaze away.

"I told you, the building is locked down. You can not leave for another hour and a half." Hotch tells Emily again.

"You want my badge? My Gun? Take it." Emily tells him. "But you can't keep me here."

"Whoa. Slow down girl. What's going on?" Morgan asks. No one answers him.

"I can take your badge, and your gun, if that's what you want Agent Prentiss. But if you walk out of this building during a lock down you will still be arrested."

"So be it." Emily tell him, pushing past Morgan to reach for the door handle.

"Emily, what are you doing?" JJ, frantically calls her. "Please, come inside we can talk."

"Stop, just stop." Garcia is begging, "Emily, please."

Emily wanted to slip out peacefully. Just escape from this place. Suddenly she is stuck again, under the prying eyes of her team. And the scene is turning more uncomfortable than simply waiting those two hours patiently. But there is no going back now. She feels suffocated. Like she can't breathe. She can't stand to look at them, to be near them. Garcia is still crying, and JJ is standing there, reaching out her hand. Rossi is beckoning her with his finger, as if she were a child, and Morgan standing between her and the door, trying to block her path. And she doesn't need to turn around to feel Hotch's disapproval burning into the back of her head.

JJ has reached her now, taken her hand. She leans forward to whisper "Please Em, Just come sit, talk to me. I'm sorry about before. Please look at me. Emily?" JJ squeezes her hand.

And she does, god help her, look at JJ that is. She looks and sees so much pain in JJ's eyes. She sees the whole team staring at her, like she has lost her mind. Like everything is her fault. She can't be here, she just can't.

For a moment she is still, looking into JJ's eyes. And JJ breathes a sigh of relief, thinking she has somehow got through to her.

Then, slowly, Emily relinquishes JJ's hand, and moves suddenly to push past Morgan and out the door.

She should have known she had no chance, as Morgan grabs her from behind pulling her from the door. She screams at him "Let me go!" And tries to pull away, but he is stronger by far and she has no hope.

The guards enter the building at that point. "Problem here?" They ask, suspiciously eyeing Morgan and Emily.

"No problem , my agents are keen to get home, its been a long day." Hotch explains.

"I'm afraid it will be over an hour until anyone can leave." One of the guards replies.

"I understand. Sorry for the disturbance. Everything is under control." Hotch assures them, and reluctantly they leave.

"Walk with me, Now!" Morgan orders as he pushes Emily away from the door, away from the prying eyes of the team. He is angry, and that makes her feel better. Better than Hotch and his uncomfortable silence, Garcia's pleading tears, and Rossi's gentle kindness.

He shoves her forward into the conference room and locks the door behind them. Emily backs up against the wall, sliding down until she is sitting there, with her knees pulled up against her chest, waiting for his angry tirade to begin.

"What the hell were you trying to pull?" He demands. He sounds like he is talking to a suspect. Only that after he has spoken, he too sinks to the floor, sitting cross legged opposite Emily, waiting for her answer.

She says nothing.

"Talk to me, what's going on Prentiss?" He asks again. "They could have arrested you. Hell, you still have your gun they could have shot you."

She only shrugs in response.

"I get it, it's a really bad outcome to the case. But it's not your fault, it's not JJ's fault. And we'll get him. Sooner or later we'll get the bastard." Morgan promises.

Emily still doesn't speak. So Morgan continues. "Maybe Hotch was right, it was too soon to send you undercover." It's not that he believes that, he is trying to get a reaction out of her. But still she won't answer him.

"Did he do something to you ?" Morgan asks finally. This being the only thing he can imagine as having got under her skin like this.

"No." Emily answers. "As soon as JJ blew my cover, he locked us in the basement and fled. Coward. Just like the profile.

"Well then what has got into you? Damn it talk to me."

"Why bother?" She asks. "You know everything."

"What?" He asks, confused.

"You're doing it right now, profiling me." She accuses him.

"If I am it's force of habit. I'm just trying to have a conversation with you. And you're not making it very easy."

"You're trying to get inside my head." She tells him.

"I want to know what's wrong." He answers.

"I have to get Out . Of . Here ." She says slowly.

"You will, in a couple of hours. You'll feel better after a good nights sleep, you'll see."

"You profiled me. Last year." She accuses him.

"Yes." He admits. "Of course we did. Your life was in danger. Doyle was out there. You just took off. We didn't know what was going on. Is that what this is about?"

"No." She shakes her head.

"Emily?" He prompts her. "Come on."

"Maybe. A little." She concedes.

" I know how much that sucks. .Remember just after you joined the team? And I was accused of murder. And I lied to Hotch, to everyone, about my past, my secrets. Believe me I know what it's like to want to keep things hidden. And when you guys started digging into my life, well I felt like I could never face any of you again."

He has captured her attention, and she has lifted her gaze to meet his.

"Em, I get it. But I realised two things. Firstly, You guys did that to help me, to save me, not because you were out to get me. And second- no one thinks any different about me after going through my life story. Do you really think people think differently about you? Think it over Emily. Really. Or is it just your own discomfort about other people digging through your past?"

She shrugs "I don't know." She confesses. But it makes no difference.

"I never should have come back, to the team. Look at all the trouble. Poor Reid, he almost went back to Dilaudid, and it caused so much anger and friction. It's not right that I came back here."

"Don't say that, don't you ever say that. Do you know what we all went through?" He asks her.

"I'm sorry for that, truly. It's one more reason I just don't belong here. I've done enough damage to this team."

"I'm not guilting you to make you feel bad, Prentiss. I just want you to know how happy we all are to have you back. All of us. So why can't you just accept that?" Morgan asks.

"I don't know." She tells him. She can hardly open up about JJ.

As if on cue, there is a knock at the door. Morgan gets up to open it, and JJ is standing there, awkwardly.

"I thought you guys might want coffee." She explains.

Morgan eyes JJ, then Emily still sitting on the floor. He might not know the specifics of the situation, but he knows enough to realise he should get out of the way and give them their privacy.

"Ok, i''ll leave you to it." Morgan tells them. Before he leaves, he looks back to Emily, and she nods slightly at him, smiling.

JJ takes his spot, sitting there on the floor opposite Emily.

JJ makes the first move "I'm sorry. You were right. About the case. I lost my head. I looked at you with that man, and I got scared. I'm sorry. It was my error in judgement, not that I didn't trust you."

Emily knows it took a lot for JJ to come here, to say that. So she does her part. "It's not for me to judge, I'm sorry I gave you a hard time. I wasn't in your shoes, watching from the outside, it must be hard. You did what you thought was best."

"You know I did it because I love you, right? Because I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you."

"I know." Emily utters softly.

"I'm sorry about the case. Sorry that you feel I didn't trust you. I'm sorry for that night we spent together."

"You're sorry we spent that night together? Nice JJ."

"No , I didn't mean that! Stop doing that, stop putting words in my mouth. I meant, I'm sorry that it hurt you."

"Don't worry JJ." Emily tells her icily. "I regret that night too. Let's put it behind us and pretend it never happened."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Earlier that day...**

**Back in the basement. **

They sit on opposite sides of the semi-darkened room. Less than 20 feet apart. But a seemingly insurmountable barrier between them.

"Do you think he's coming back?" JJ's hesitant voice breaks the awkward silence. She cant stand it, sitting there in the dark, not saying a word. She knows Emily could keep it up for hours, maybe days. If the silence is to be broken, she's going to have to swallow her pride and do it herself.

It's only the tremble in JJ's voice, betraying her deep fear, that makes Emily push aside her own bitterness and expend her own energy to formulate an answer.

"No." She tells JJ confidently. "His fantasy is blown. He will move on. Start again. We are no use to him now." She assures the other woman with a steady voice echoing across the darkness.

"But isn't it a little sloppy to leave us alive?" JJ points out.

"It doesn't matter to him. He has a lot of self control. It's part of what makes him so dangerous. He doesn't care about witnesses. He's left witnesses before. He believe he is above the law, above being caught. And he has no use to torment or kill us. Not now you've blown my cover. It's ruined his whole fantasy. And he is nothing if not a perfectionist. He will simply move on, start again." Emily shudders as she pictures the poor unsuspecting, undeserving woman about to fall prey to him.

"You seem very certain about that." JJ states, as if she doesn't quite believe Emily, but isn't prepared to openly challenge her.

"Aren't you? The profile is solid." Emily asserts.

"It's just a profile, a guide, it doesn't mean anything." JJ tells her.

"Well you've picked an interesting career, since you think profiling means nothing. It's what we do. It's why the government pays us. Why we have a private jet. Someone, somewhere, must see some value in our profiling ability."

"You know what I mean. The profile isn't rock solid. You can't predict the future. It's a guide, and it's open to interpretation." JJ maintains. "Sorry I'm not as calm as you. I would imagine it's natural to be a little freaked out under the circumstances. It's only human."

"Where as I'm totally heartless, I suppose?" Emily finishes. "Less than human?"

"God, why do you _always_ have to do that? Put words into my mouth? I'm not criticising you. I wish I was like you. We all do, if you must know. You're so calm under pressure. And here I am, just sitting here, wondering if I'll ever see my baby boy again, and you..." JJ trails off.

"Oh, please, finish that sentence." Emily pleads sarcastically.

JJ wishes it hadn't come out quite like that, but there is no turning back no. "I see that look in your eye, Em. I know you, better than you might like to think. " JJ insists.

"You've just been telling me about my secret life, how you don't know me at all." Emily reminds her. "So which is it? I'm getting confused."

"Why aren't you afraid, Emily?" JJ asks.

"I told you. The profile. Were you paying any attention as the rest of us spent six weeks putting that thing together?" Emily asks.

JJ refused to dignify that with a response. "You just don't care." She accuses Emily.

"Believe me, I care very much, and if I thought there was any danger to you, I would tell you. But the profile is solid. And you're forgetting I've spent the better part of the last week up close and personal with him. Trust me, killing either of us at this juncture is not going to satisfy him in the least. He is long gone."

"Why did you even accept this undercover mission? You're obsessed with this case, with catching him. You don't really care one way or the other if he kills you, as long as you get him. That's the bottom line, it's all that matters to you. You don't care about anything else, not even the rest of us."

Emily feels as if JJ has struck her. "I'm glad to hear you think I have nothing to live for. It might surprise you to know that, even without you, my life has some meaning. I'm not quite ready to throw it all away just yet, but thanks for that."

"That's not what I meant. But, Emily, you take too many risks. Don't think I didn't see it."

"See what?"

"In your eyes." JJ continues.

"I don't know what you mean." Emily tells her. And even though JJ can scarcely make out the other woman's face across the darkened room, she can picture precisely the look on Emily's face. That hardened mask that gives nothing away.

"That anger in your eyes, hatred." JJ tells her.

"He murdered nineteen women, yes I'm angry." Emily acknowledges.

"You want him to pay."

"Yes." Emily admits.

"At any cost." It's a statement and not a question.

"Yes." Emily is quick to answer, without censoring herself. It was a bad habit she'd always had with JJ. Some part of how they had first clicked. Something that JJ quickly learned to use against her.

"Just how were you going to lure him into any kind of trap?" JJ asks.

"Hotch explained it, we worked on it for weeks. And I almost had him." Emily is losing patience.

"It never would have worked." JJ protests.

"Interesting. I didn't know you could predict the future."

"Emily, ever since you came back, you've been trying so hard to fit in."

"What's wrong with that?" Emily asks.

"It's like you'd do anything to win back the team's trust again." JJ observes.

"I still don't see the problem."

"It's like you'd be perfectly willing to sacrifice your own life for this case, just to get everyone's approval."

Emily doesn't bother with any outright protest. "I trust the profile, I trust the team. It's more than I can say for you. Why do you even do this job? If you're so worried abut making it home in one piece to your son? You could have stayed at the pentagon, better hours, less risk. This job is what it is, and it has always involved a degree of risk. I'm not the only one taking a risk, we all do. Every day. But I trust the team, and the team trusts me."

"Are you saying I'm a bad mother?" JJ asks.

Emily sighs, she doesn't quite know how JJ put those words into her mouth. But she is rational enough to look back over the conversation and see it's a pattern they both fall into too easily. And she isn't getting sucked into that argument.

"I'm saying, if you were so damn worried about the un-sub, why didn't you just stay on the sidelines with Morgan?" Emily asks.

"That's how you want it, isn't it? Yourself in the spotlight, taking all the risks, and the rest of us on the sidelines."

"What on earth are you talking about? I didn't choose this case. Hotch chose me, because I fit the un-subs profile." Emily tells her.

"You could have said no. Hotch asked you if you were ready, and you should have said no." JJ insists.

"Is that what you said to Hotch?" Emily asks. "When he asked you, all of you, if you thought I was ready. Because, he obviously didn't take your word on that."

"How could I tell him that I didn't think you were ready, everyone else gave him the green light, even you, how would it look if I told him no?" JJ asks.

"It would look, JJ, like you had some sort of personal problem with me." Emily answers.

"That isn't true."

"You've been determined from day one, to sabotage this case." Emily accuses her.

"Now you're just being ridiculous!" JJ responds.

"You didn't even want the team to take it." Emily reminds her.

"We've spent nearly two months on this. There are other cases we haven't taken, people we could have helped. And no, this case wasn't my choice."

"You don't think his victims deserve justice? Or that the world will be a better place with him off the streets? Or that he deserves to pay?"

"There are so many cases out there, we can't solve them all. We've spent so much time and effort on this one case, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

"Maybe so, but we're here now, on this case. We need everyone's head in the game."

"My head is in the game, thank you very much. I'm looking out for my team, making sure we all go home in one piece."

"You totally blew my cover. Everything we all worked for." Emily accuses her.

"You want me to just leave you here in the clutches of a serial killer?"

"I was fine. Better off without you."

"That's your opinion." JJ responds coldly.

"Well where is Morgan then? He didn't think there was any danger, did he? Does he even know where you are? That you've single handedly blown the case to hell?" Emily demands.

"There wasn't time to explain it to him." JJ tells her, and even to her own ears it sounds like a feeble excuse. And panic is rising in her voice as she continues, "But Morgan is watching closely, he will know something has gone wrong."

Emily finds herself reassuring JJ again. There are some things she just can't stand to hear in the other woman's voice. And terror is one of them. "You're right, Morgan will know soon enough. The team will find us soon, and nothing is going to happen to us before then. Who knows, maybe the team is following him, maybe that's why they aren't here yet."

"Do you really believe that?" JJ asks again.

"I do." Emily asserts.

"You're still thinking so much about the team, about the case, about catching him." JJ can't help but say it, even though she knows it was high time to drop the conversation.

"I still don't see what's wrong with that." Emily protests.

"I'm only thinking about you. That I'd die if anything happened to you." JJ whispers across the darkness.

Emily tries, so hard, to shrug that comment off. "That's the job, JJ, It's not without risk. You know that. You still leave your child and come to work every single day. Because you know that what we do is important. It makes a difference. You have to focus on the big picture. You can't value one person above the whole, above the work we do. You can't let yourself get caught up with protecting one person. You just can't do that."

"I have to." JJ admits softly, but assuredly. "I don't know how to stop. I don't know how you can expect me to risk anything happening to you. I just don't know how to do that. I don't know how to sit back and watch you on this insane undercover mission, this stupid plan that was never going to work, and that dark recklessness in your eyes, as if you don't care one bit about what happens to you. Well I care, Emily. Don't you know that you mean everything to me?"

Emily inhales sharply, still trying not to let herself really hear what JJ is saying. "It's been a long time since you've said these things to me." Emily tells her. And it has, it feels like a life time. And it's something she never expected to hear from JJ again. "You just finished telling me all about your husband and your baby and how you had no choice in the path your life took."

"I don't have all the answers. But something has changed between us, don't you feel it?"

"Has it, JJ? It doesn't seem so from where I'm sitting." Emily tells her.

"Well then, my mistake. Never mind." JJ retracts her words almost as quickly as she had spoken them.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

_**Present Day  
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There is only mild interest in the news bulletin flashing across the TV screen as Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, Reid and Garcia gather silently passing the time. Murder certainly isn't unusual. Its only when the TV reporter mentions the message that the killer has left behind, scribed in the victims blood, that their interest is piqued. That was one of the things the un-sub did. Something never publicised. Although not something entirely unique. More than one killer used their victims blood to write a message taunting law enforcement.

Hotch casts his eyes around the group- which consists of the majority of his team, minus JJ and Prentiss.

"It's too soon." Rossi answers the unasked question- _could this be him?_

"And that victim is blonde." Reid points out in support of Rossi.

It's what Aaron Hotchner wants to hear. That it's an eerie coincidence. But he's not convinced.

"Anyway, its in Florida." Garcia adds. Though she has been neither invited nor excluded from the conversation, she regrets instantly that she has opened her mouth when she feels the others turn to her eyeing her suspiciously They have this way of making her feel utterly stupid without even trying.

"What does that mean, Garcia?" Hotch asks her with a genuine curiosity that she misinterprets as mocking her.

"Uhm, Florida, you know, the sunshine state. That's where the news report is from, that's all I'm saying." She finishes quietly.

Reid simply can't help himself. "Actually, Garcia, _"Sunshine State" _is not an accurate nick name, as severe weather is a common occurrence in Florida. Infact, central Florida is known as the _lightening capital_ of the United States..." His voice trails off as he notices the disapproving glances from the team.

Morgan eyes his watch. "There is enough time for him to get to Florida. It would be tight, travel plus seeking out a new victim, but it's not impossible." He declares.

"But you said he was heading west. Seattle." Garcia reminds him.

"I said?" Morgan takes a step back.

Now Garcia feels all the eyes of the team on her "Maybe not specifically you, one of you, one of you said Seattle."

"Who said that?" Hotch asks her.

"I don't know, it's been a long day, maybe no one." She is forced to admit. "Maybe I mis heard something."

"Who said Seattle?" Morgan asks here, taking a step towards her, authoritative tone to his voice.

"I'm not sure..." She trails off. She really isn't certain and it takes a moment before she is prepared to point the finger at anyone.

"Who? Tell me." Morgan repeats.

"JJ. I think it was JJ. But I'm not sure. Ask her.

"What exactly did she say?" Rossi wants to know. "She mentioned Seattle in what context?"

"Something along the lines that she hoped the police in Seattle were ready for him. Something like that. Nothing specific. Nothing like- oh he's heading straight for Seattle tonight, or anything like that." She stumbles.

"Ok." Hotch raises his hand to quiet her. "It's odd JJ didn't mention this to anyone else, did she?" The others shake their heads.

"Nor did Emily." Adds Reid "And she is the one who spent the most time with him. If anyone had picked up a clue as to where he was heading, it would be Emily. And so far this guy has been all over the map with his victims. There is no discernible pattern."

"We may have been too quick to dismiss the idea of a cognitive interview." Hotch decides.

"Well, we had his name, his profile, what he does, how he does it, why he does it, we even had him. We didn't think we needed any extra information from Emily." Rossi declares.

"Not just Prentiss, JJ too, It's possible both of them may have picked something up about his future plans without even realising." Hotch explains.

"I don't know." Morgan puts in his two cents. "I mean this guy was so caught up in his fantasy with Emily, it's not like he was thinking ahead about which state to visit next. And we profiled he was disorganised with his location, no pattern, as if he just took to the road and didn't know where he was going. I'm not convinced _he_ even knew where he was going."

"It's worth a try." Hotch tells them.

"Is it?" Morgan asks.

Hotch looks at him quizzically.

"Is it worth is?" Morgan wants to know.

Hotch nods in understanding "Unfortunately, with this latest murder, and the same partial signature as our unsub, I think It is a necessary step."

"Morgan, you and Rossi take Prentiss, Reid and I will take JJ, and Garcia find all the information you can on this latest murder."

There is a nod of acknowledgement all around the circle. As Garcia turns, the first to walk away to the sanctuary of her office, Hotch calls her back. "Garcia, would you go and ask JJ and Prentiss to join us please." He orders.

"Me?" She asks. "But I have to..."

"Yes, You, Garcia. Now." He tells her.

"Yes sir." She mumbles as she turns from the group. It's not like she wanted to be the one to go in there. She had somehow managed to upset both her best friends in the past hour. But she still isn't _as_ scared as those men are to knock on the conference room door. She does knock though, loudly. And waits an inordinate amount of time before entering, _just in case. _

"If this is our unsub, and I'm not saying it is, but it's a huge break in pattern. He has never killed this quickly before." Rossi warns the others.

"Well, his fantasy with Prentiss was interrupted." Reid points out. "He is frustrated."

"He's been interrupted before, twice, by police." Morgan counters. "He's never deviated from his patten."

"Did anyone else notice the latest victim bore a remarkable resemblance to JJ?" Reid asks.

"You think?" Morgan asks sceptically.

"Maybe you can't see it on the surface, but if you look at the facial structure and symmetry, plus the long blonde hair." Reid explains.

"You think this victim was a surrogate for JJ? His way of striking out at her for blowing his fantasy with Prentiss?" Rossi asks.

"That's one possibility." Hotch reluctantly acknowledges. "But I think we are getting ahead of ourselves here. Let's do the cognitive interviews and see what comes of it. In any case there isn't much we can do for the next hour that we're locked in here." Hotch tries to keep everyone calm. "Morgan, you were there with JJ on surveillance that night. Was anything out of the ordinary?"

"No!" He tells Hotch adamantly. "Absolutely not. If I had any concerns you know I would have acted. I wouldn't have left Emily in danger, nor would I have let JJ go in there on her own." Morgan protests.

"No one is questioning your decision. I really need for everyone to stop being so defensive and just tell me what happened. Was there anything off, anything at all?" Hotch asks.

"No." He answers, just as adamant, but a little calmer. "Nothing. I told you, one minute things were going as planned, next thing I know JJ has disappeared and I see the unsub taking off, alone, down the street. I could have followed him, but instead I went into the house and found Prentiss and JJ in the basement."

"And you saw nothing unusual, prior to the point that you noticed JJ was missing. Nothing in the Un-subs behaviour that had changed, that might indicate he knew Prentiss was FBI? That he was being watched? Nothing in her behaviour that gave away she was concerned about anything?"

"If I'd seen something, I would have acted." He insists. "And you know Emily." Morgan notes Hotch hasn't used her first name throughout the entire conversation. "I'm not sure I would have seen something in her that she didn't want me to see. She knew the signal if she was in trouble. She didn't use it, and she had plenty of opportunity."

"Ok." Hotch concedes. "Well let's do these cognitive interviews. We need to find out if either JJ or Prentiss can tell us anything about his plans, if this could be him, and if not where he has gone. At least give us a head start to warn the local police. We might be able to salvage something out of this case after all."


	9. Chapter 9

_**A:N**_

_For Ju Ju, who gave me the prompt to this story...my lovely girl so so very far away from me. I miss you I hope you like your prompt story :) xo_

_For Erin, without whom I would have neither the energy nor the courage to finish this chapter. You encouraged me to write from my heart and gave me so much help with these two chapters. I can't thank you enough just for being you, and being an amazing friend and beat reader._

_For Rachel, whose encouragement keeps me going, and whose name I have borrowed for the next couple of chapters ;) Thank you for all the kind words of support, it means the world._

_And my sincere thanks to everyone who has take time to read and review, this is for all of you :) _

_**Chapter 9**_

Morgan and Rossi eye Emily Prentiss through the glass window of Rossi's office. She is sitting compliantly in the chair, swinging slightly back and forth, waiting for her cognitive interview to begin. But there is fire in her eyes. Something Morgan has seen only one time before. He turns to Rossi "I think this would go better if it was one on one."

Something about this makes Rossi instantly suspicious. "Hotch specifically said we should do it together."

"Come on, Rossi. You saw how angry and defensive she was. She feels like we are ganging up on her. I think I'd get further alone."

"Ok." Rossi concedes. "I'll go help Garcia. You know where to find me if you need me."

Morgan enters the office, Emily meets his gaze with intensity.

"Ok so let's begin, you know the drill."

"Where's Rossi?" Emily asks bitterly, as Morgan takes his place sitting behind the desk.

"I thought it would be better just us, ok with you?" Morgan asks.

Emily can't help but soften her gaze, just for a moment, "Ok" She concedes giving him a slight nod.

"Look, Em. No one's out to get you. No one is out to prove you did the wrong thing. We are trying to catch this guy."

"I know that." Emily insists. "I'm not a child."

"Then stop acting like one." The words hurt her, he can tell, and it hadn't been his goal. "Stop fighting everyone so hard for just ten minutes, and let's see if we can catch this guy, ok."

"Fine. It's what Hotch ordered, so just do it." She states with no emotion in her tone what so ever.

"First tell me why you are so reluctant to do this? It's me. Is there something you wanna tell me?"

"You don't trust me either." She accuses. "How can I be on a team with people who don't trust me?" Emily asks him with wearily. She is sitting with her arms folded in the chair, her body language betraying her feelings even if her words weren't.

He moves from behind Rossi's desk, and sits on top of it, disturbing Rossi's neat organised piles of paperwork. He lowers his voice. "Whoa there Prentiss, chill out for a second. I trust you. I trust you every day with my life. Come on, let's focus on this. It's not about me or you or JJ. It's about catching this bastard so he can never hurt anyone ever again."

"You trust me, Morgan? Oh yeah, of course you trust me." Her voice is dripping with sarcasm as she shakes her head. Before he can respond, she continues, this time the sarcasm is gone, she is all too read. "I left you." She states simply. "I left all of you in the middle of a case. I walked out of the bull pen and I put myself right back in Doyle's hands. Because of me, Rossi and Ashley were almost gunned down, because of me Reid almost went back on Dilauded, because of me you gave up 7 months of your life for vengeance, because of me JJ is a different person." Emily elaborated.

"Prentiss..." Morgan begins, trying to take her hand.

Hastily she pulls away. "Don't, just don't." Emily orders, her foot frantically tapping against the floor. "You want an interview, _Agent_ Morgan? You want to know what happened? Fine. Here it is. I was weak. I was weak and pathetic for letting Doyle stab me, for running away to Paris and letting you all deal with the aftermath. And that's why this case was so important to me, my chance to prove to you that I'm worthy to be here, my chance to make something up to all of you. That's the reason I didn't hesitate about going undercover."

"Prentiss, You don't have to prove anything..." He begins dismissively.

"Let. Me. Finish." She orders with an icy tone. Now he has broken the dam wall there is no holding back. She needs to get it out. "JJ is right, he knew I was FBI. I knew he knew. I didn't care. I was going to get him one way or the other, and it didn't matter how. Okay, is that what you wanted to hear, Agent Morgan? JJ was right, I was wrong. If she hadn't come after me you'd probably be attending another funeral right now. And it would have been better than letting him get away. But he is free, because I am weak and I failed. You want to hear that poor old Emily can't hold her own? She just can't cut it in the field any more? You want to hear that Doyle took something from me that I can never get back? Is that what you want Agent Morgan? Fine. Put that in your damn report!" Emily yelled at him.

By the time she has finished with her angry onslaught, she is standing to her feet and fast heading for the door. Emily doesn't care if she has to smash every damn window in this place, she is getting out of here. What does it matter? Morgan will tell Hotch she has lost the plot anyway. It's all over, and Emily Prentiss doesn't care one little bit. Or so she tells herself.

Before she knows what is happening Morgan has grabbed her wrists, hard. He has backed her up against the wall. She braces herself to fight him, she opens her mouth to scream something at him, it's simply instinct.

"Don't." He tells her. "Just stop it. For one minute, just take a breath and stop." He tries to calm her.

Against her will, she does breathe. First in. Then out. Then in again. With each breath she finds herself relaxing, hypnotised by a strange sort of calmness emanating from him. As he senses the change in her, he loosens his grip, but he doesn't let her go. Not yet.

"Tell me what it is you want me to say?" Morgan asks her. "Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it."

"Let me go." She whispers.

"No. Never again." He whispers back. But he releases her hands as she collapses to the floor. He sits beside her. "Emily, please, you have to find a way to get past all this. Talk to someone."

"You think I'm crazy?" She half asks, half accuses.

"I think you're in trouble" He tells her. "If I thought you were crazy I would have told Hotch what happened at the crime scene last week."

"Why didn't you?" She wants to know.

"Maybe I should have. I know it must have been hard, everything that you've been through. I just want things to be ok, I want you to be ok. And I thought that once you were back, once you knew how happy we were to have you back, that things would be ok. But they aren't, are they?"

"No." She admits to him.

"Tell me, what's wrong? Tell me what I can do?"

"I don't know." She answers him honestly.

_**Earlier that week.**_

"_For God's sake what the hell was that?" Morgan demands as they watch the police cuff the unsub._

"_You wanted to catch them, you caught them. And you're welcome!" Emily insists._

"_There are three of them, and one of you, they could have killed you."_

"_I have a gun."_

"_And they have knives. And one of them grabbed you and almost decapitated you right in front of me!" He isn't yelling by this point, there is something more intense than anger in his eyes. Fear. Pain. They aren't talking about just this case. They are talking about Doyle. As always, it's what it comes down to._

_And Emily fights back the only way she knows how. Fighting fire with fire. "Well he didn't decapitate me, because my freaking knight in shining armour came to my rescue, just like you always do, you have to have the spot light, don't you Agent Morgan?" She had taken to referring to him as "Agent Morgan" lately, and it irritated him beyond belief._

"_What the hell are you talking about, Prentiss?"_

"_You love it, that you had to come to my rescue, so don't pretend you don't! You love reprimanding me in front of the medical examiner and the crime scene investigators, the police and even the damn unsubs heard you criticising me. You're not my boss, you know that right."_

"_No, I'm your partner, remember? I'm not the enemy, what is your damn problem these days Prentiss?"_

"_You are my problem!" She shouts at him, before trying to push past._

"_Hey!" He tried to stop her but she wouldn't listen. He noticed she was bleeding, one of the unsubs must have managed to get her with the knife. "Hey!" He called again, chasing after her. "Prentiss, you're bleeding, let the EMT take a look."_

_She doesn't stop and she doesn't turn to face him. He hated her being angry at him. Ever since Doyle he felt he had been walking on eggshells, trying to do the right thing. She had done the same, trying so hard to please him, to please everyone, totally over compensating. Until today. Something changed in her eyes today, or maybe she finally stopped pretending._

_He reaches for her, from behind. He isn't forceful, at least he didn't think so. That's why he is so surprised to hear her scream, and to find her elbow painfully jabbed into his ribs a moment later. It's the shock of it more than the pain that knocks him back slamming his head on the nearby brick wall._

"_Emily!" He calls out to her. He is more concerned than angry, and the word comes out in a painful gasp as he tries to get his breath back._

_She turns then to see him, grasping at his painful side. Her face is ashen with remorse, horror struck. As if she can't believe she had done it any more than he could._

"_Morgan, I'm so sorry." She stammers, but she is glued to the spot. Every part of her wants to reach out to him to make sure he is ok, but she is paralysed._

"_Ok, what the hell was that?" He manages to ask. "What's going on?"_

"_I'm so sorry. I was just kidding around." She tells him. "I didn't mean..." Her voice trails off._

_He doesn't believe her, and she knows it. But he says nothing about it. Not to Hotch, not to anyone._

"_Yeah, I was kidding around too." He tells her. "Come on, it's been a long day, let's get out of here."_

_Morgan had anticipated things might be awkward after that. But among Emily's many gifts is the ability to pretend everything is perfectly fine when it's far from it. She never mentioned it, neither had he, and it had never happened again. She went out of her way to be the perfect partner. That's how he knew something was deeply wrong. He just didn't know what to do about it, so he put it out of his mind, and let himself believe she was ok._


	10. Chapter 10

_Warning for an extremely small amount of mild violence and self injury. Don't read if it will trigger. Stay safe xxoo_

_Warning also (in case it wasn't obvious up to this point) that the story is descending into quite a dark place. . . _

**Chapter 10 **

JJ, too, is far from pleased about the cognitive interview. She looks from Hotch to Reid with dissatisfaction all over her face. "I just don't see what this is meant to achieve..." She protests. But her words are in vain.

"We believe he may have given away a clue about his next location." Hotch explains.

"I would have told you if that were the case." JJ insists.

"You know how this works, JJ, Sometimes we see or hear something that we don't realise is vital to..." Hotch begins

"I know, I know." She interrupts Hotch. He shoots her a disproving gaze for her disrespect. Reid squirms in his chair uncomfortably.

"JJ, you aren't on trial. Your decisions aren't in question." Hotch reminds her.

"Sure feels like that to me." She answers.

"We can talk about that at a later time, right now I want to get to the bottom of this case, and catch this guy so we can all sleep a little easier."

"I don't know why you are all so unable to let this one case go." JJ mumbles.

"I don't know why you are so upset by the fact that the team want to catch this guy." Hotch responds.

"You never should have sent Emily." JJ blurts out the thing on her mind.

If it weren't for the absolute fear in her eyes, Hotch might be annoyed by his agent openly criticising his decision. But he had already accepted responsibility for sending Emily into danger. He is more curious about why JJ is reacting so strongly.

"Why do you feel so strongly about it?" He comes out and asks her.

"After what happened with Doyle, how can you send her undercover so soon?" JJ just can't understand it.

"It's been months, and Agent Prentiss has proven herself time and time again. Her conduct has been exemplary."

"Uhuh." JJ mumbles.

"Do you have an issue with Agent Prentiss' conduct?"

"Who me?" JJ asks sarcastically. "What issue could I have with the perfect 'Agent Prentiss'?. Like you said, her conduct is flawless. She came back, and slipped right back into the team, like nothing ever happened. But then again, she's always been perfect. Always been able to stare anything in the face, and never even flinch. She's always been fearless like that. She's always over compensated, putting on this great show for the team of how together she is. And you call yourself profilers, you just can't see it. You think she is unbreakable? You think she is immortal? She isn't! And you shouldn't have sent her there." JJ declares passionately.

"I understand it was difficult for the team. But I'd expect you to have the least problem with this, Agent Jareau." Hotch tells her. "After all you didn't grieve for seven months believing she was dead. I'm not sure what it is that's so difficult for you to accept about Agent Prentiss being back?"

"I'm thrilled she is back, it's all I prayed for!" JJ insists. "I just don't see the point in getting her to come back here just so you can send her out to be your sacrificial lamb. Was catching this one guy so important to you that it was worth her life?" JJ demands.

"You are way out of line." Hotch reprimands her so loudly that both she and Reid jump in their seats. "But, we haven't time to talk about this right now. I am going to pretend you didn't just accuse me of willingly putting one of my team in danger, and I am going to continue this cognitive interview. And we WILL be discussing this later, Agent Jareau."

Hotch has had enough of Emily, of JJ, of whatever is going in between them that's interfering in their work, that has them at each others throats, and at his. They had both made extraordinary accusations against him today, both were clearly angry, upset, had unresolved issues that needed to be sorted out. It was unacceptable conduct in the work place. However, now was not the time.

"Close your eyes." Hotch orders in a tone that JJ doesn't dare argue with. " What do you see?"

"Nothing." JJ mumbles. "It's dark. Emily and I are in the basement."

"How did you get there?" Hotch asks.

"He had the gun to Emily's head. He told me to walk down the stairs or he was going to shoot her in the head, right in front of me." JJ's voice trembles as the picture comes back to haunt her. "And once I was there I heard Emily come crashing down after me as he pushed her into the basement."

"What next?"

"I heard him locking the door." JJ tells.

"Did he say anything to you?" Reid interrupts.

"Not to me." JJ answers.

"Did he say something to Emily?"

"He said '_Better luck next time, Emily'_." JJ repeats.

"He called her Emily?" Hotch it instantly alerted to this fact.

JJ's eyes snap open. She hadn't realised before. "Yes. Yes he called her Emily."

"You're certain?"

"Yes!" She answers, irritated. "How would he know her name? Her code name was Rachel!" JJ declares impatiently.

"Are you sure you didn't mention the name to him at one point, that you didn't call Emily by her name?" Reid asks, with no malice what so ever in his tone.

"I'm not an idiot, You think I'd go marching in there and call her Emily?"

"Ok back further, what did you say, when you met him?"

"I said just what we planned if we had to go in. That I was a friend of Rachel'ss. And I called her Rachel!" JJ adds bitterly.

"And?"

"He let me in. Told me Rachel wasn't home. Offered me coffee. I sat in the living room."

"Did anything indicate that he was suspicious of you? Of Emily?"

"No!"

"Then what next?"

"Then I saw Emily..." her voice trails off as she inhales sharply.

"JJ ..." Hotch prompts her. "It's ok , you and Emily are both safe now, just take a breath and continue. Tell me what you see.

JJ didn't see what really happened. What happened was Emily came smiling down the staircase, perfectly flawless in her role as Rachel, and greeted her 'old friend' warmly.

JJ still says nothing.

"Then Emily came in?" Hotch prompts her.

"Yes." JJ whispers.

"So he lied about her not being there?" Reid pushes

"I suppose so." JJ responds, but her mind is clearly caught on something else.

"Is that when he realised something wasn't right?" Hotch asked. He knows the answer. He's read the reports. But he is trying to get inside JJ's head.

"No. He went to get coffee. And Emily told me to leave." JJ informs them.

"But you didn't." Hotch prompts. "Why?"

"I knew it, something in the eyes." JJ whispers.

"In his eyes?" Hotch asked.

"No." JJ clarifies. "Emily's eyes."

She had looked into Emily's eyes, or tried to, in that moment, in the serial killers lounge room. And she had seen something painful and broken. Just a glimmer, then it was gone. Something reckless and crazy. Something desperate and haunted. JJ knows it sounds crazy to blow the case to hell because of something she thought she saw in Emily's eyes. But it was so powerful. She'd only seen it one time before.

And even though she is sitting in Hotch's office while he and Reid guide her through one crime scene, in her mind she is in another place all together. Another crime scene. ..

_About two weeks after Emily returned to work. It had been a successful case. The unsub was on his way to prison, the CSI's had just finished up gathering evidence. Garcia, Hotch and Rossi had never even made it to the crime scene, it had been only She, Emily, Morgan and Reid. And Morgan and Reid had long ago left, heading out for drinks to celebrate after catching up with the rest of the team. _

_JJ lingered, hoping for a moment with Emily. Emily had been acting odd since they spent the night together. Up until that point, JJ felt she should give Emily some space. But she suddenly had a feeling like she needed to be close to Em, just for that night. It often happened after a big case, after all their lives had been in danger. She knows Emily hadn't left the crime scene. The same way she knows where Emily is 99% of the time, she can't keep her eyes off her. She sent a text- the crime scene was big, there were still people lingering around, maybe Emily wasn't avoiding her, maybe she was just lost in the mayhem?_

_Emily wrote back, said she had left with Reid and Morgan. Which JJ knew to be an outright lie, because she had seen Reid and Morgan leave. JJ was filled with instant resentment. If Emily doesn't want to see her, there is no need to lie about it. So she had waited, until it was almost dark. Emily couldn't have left on foot, she must be there somewhere. Unless she went home with someone else...JJ remembers the sick feeling that filled her stomach as that thought crossed her mind- Emily going home with someone else. _

_But it was nothing compared to the sick feeling that hit her when she rounded the last corner of the crime scene, and spied Emily, huddled over in the dim fading daylight, blood dripping from her hand._

_JJ had rushed towards her, "Emily, you're bleeding!" She had said, slight panic taking over. _

It's those words she mumbles to Hotch and Reid unintentionally in the cognitive interview "She's bleeding, I can't get the blood to stop." JJ says in a shaky voice,

"JJ it's ok, everyone is safe, tell me what happened, Emily is bleeding?" Hotch asks.

"That makes no sense, Emily wasn't injured that we know of." Reid mumbled to Hotch.

It's then that JJ snaps back to reality . She realises where she is, what she is saying. "I'm sorry, I misspoke. I'm tired. I can't do this." She announces.

_The scene is flashing before her eyes, how she kneeled there, trying to stem the bleeding from the gash in Emily's left forearm. The way Emily's head had snapped up when she heard JJ coming, the way she dropped the piece of broken glass that she had been grasping in the fingers of her right hand the minute she saw JJ. The fear and shame in Emily's eyes. _

_There was broken glass all around her, from the shootings. All clear and sparkling in the moonlight, except that one piece, sharp and long and stained in blood that had fallen from Emily's shaking hand to the ground moments ago._

_Emily is quiet, still. _

"_Emily, talk to me?" JJ pleaded. "Are you ok? What happened?"_

_Just like that, something snapped in Emily's mind, just like that her expression came to life. She pulled her arm away from JJ, cradling it close "I must have got hurt, during the shooting. Its nothing, don't worry Jayj." She assured the blonde woman. _

_JJ had been there, at the shooting, Emily hadn't been hurt. She had seen the way Emily looked up in shame, the way she dropped the glass. And she realises that it's the second time Emily lied to her that day. She wants to be angry at that fact, but somehow she can't be when she remembers the broken expression on Emily's face just moments ago, when Emily is sitting there bleeding right in front of her. _

"_Emily, what have you done to yourself?" JJ asked her, reaching forward lift Emily's chin slightly so she could look deeply into those brown eyes. _

_That's when Emily could hold back the tears no longer. A rare rare sight to see. And as JJ looked into those shattered eyes, she saw nothing that she recognised starring back at her. She saw only brokenness, only pain. She pulled Emily into a tight embrace, lost for words. It was the was she and Emily had always found the simplest way to communicate- with physical touch. _

"_Please, don't tell anyone." Emily begged through tears. "Please promise me JJ."_

"_It's ok, you'll be ok, I promise" JJ answered her without really thinking it through. She remembers thinking she would have said anything in that moment to take away the pain in Emily's eyes. _

"JJ!" Hotch pulls her from her thoughts back into the present.

"I'm sorry." JJ protests. "I don't know. I thought I saw something in Emily's eyes that probably wasn't there. I let him get away, and it's on me."

"No one is saying that." Hotch insisted. "We are trying to find out where he has gone now. Not place the blame on any single person for blowing this case."

"Well, I don't know where he has gone! How should I know?" JJ yells. Tears are forming in her eyes, she hates herself for it, knows they won't understand why she is crying. That she is making herself and Emily both look like they have something to hide. That she is acting as crazy as Emily is acting, and maybe more so.

"JJ, did he ever mention any places to you that he might go next?" Hotch perseveres.

"No, we didn't exactly have a nice long chat about future plans."

"So he never mentioned Seattle to you?" Reid asks.

"Seattle?" JJ asks. "How did he know about Seattle?" …...


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11**_

Morgan sits beside her silently for what feels like hours. Trying to work out where things went so wrong, how he hadn't seen this coming, and what he was going to do about it now.

"Is that true?" Morgan asks.

Emily looks back at him, confused.

"He knew you were FBI? You knew your cover was blown and you didn't let me know?"

Momentarily she thinks about taking it back, lying to him to bring him peace of mind. But it's too late. She knows she can't pull that off now, no matter how much he wanted to believe in her. It's over. She knows it's over. It's all over, no point keeping up this act.

"Yes." She admits in a shaky voice. Saying it aloud made her realise just how stupid it had been, how badly her judgement had been lacking. "Second day in. Are you going to tell the others?"

Morgan steps away from her, in shock. He doesn't know what he is going to do. How can he not tell them? He can't have Emily going into situations like that endangering herself, and the rest of the team. His instinct has always been to protect her, stick up for her, to have her back no matter what. But he knows that continuing to cover for her isn't doing her any favors. He doesn't understand how it has come to this, right under his nose. How she had got to this point and he hadn't seen it. Hadn't wanted to see it. No, he doesn't want to tell the others. He wants, like always, to protect her, to keep her secrets. But more than that, he wants her to be safe, and he just does not trust her anymore. At all.

He sees too that it is killing JJ, blaming herself for the case falling apart. Though it was so much easier to blame JJ than to accept Emily had done something so stupid, that it happened right in front of him and he hadn't noticed. He hadn't acted.

He doesn't know what he is going to do with this information, and he tells her so. "I don't know what I'm going to do." He admits. "I should have seen something." He scolds himself.

There are so many things running through his head. He tries to prioritise. There was still a killer out there that needed to be caught. For the moment, Emily was safe, everyone was. For the moment they still needed to get this guy off the streets.

After that, then he would have to make a decision. Clearly he couldn't help her, she couldn't even come to him for help, he would have to do something to make sure that this never happened again. But underneath all of that is that one thought- he cant stand to lose her again. Certainly not to some psycho killer, not this guy,or the next that came along, she would have to prove to him this would never happen again. But equally he doesn't want to lose her from the team because of this, because he dobbed her in to Hotch. A huge violation, there would be no choice but to let her go from the team, the FBI. What would happen to her then? He would never see her again. He doesn't want to be the one to cause her career to come crashing down. Maybe if he just payed closer attention to her, maybe it would be ok. He would just tell her this can never happen again, and it would be ok. If he tells Hotch or the others about this, it would be over. It might come down to something he has to do, but for the moment he can push it aside. He doesn't understand fully why she would do something like that, or why she was having such a hard time fitting back in. But he sees that she is struggling, and he has to believe that she will get better.

She pulls him from his tangled thoughts. "I didn't want you to see, and so you didn't."

"This can never happen again." He tells her, looking her close in the eye. "Ever."

She smiles at him,sweetly,sadly. "It's not likely to happen again, once Hotch finds out what I did..."

"Lets' worry about that later." Morgan says.

"What does that mean?" She asks him, confused.

"Look there is still a guy out there to catch. I'm not saying this is the end of it, because believe me you and me are gonna talk about this later. But for now, I don't see any reason to let Hotch know."

"I would never ask you to lie for me." She lets him off the hook.

"You didn't ask. And I'm not lying. I just don't see the need to share that information at the moment. And only as long as you look me in the eye and promise to tell me everything else. Every single thing, don't leave one thing out, understand me."

She nods, slightly shocked. Slightly anxious. It had almost been a relief to tell him, to finally take off that mask and let someone see the truth. And now he was asking her to put it back up again, keep pretending. She doesn't know if she can. Or why he would let her. But if he is willing to cover for her to Hotch, least she can do is go along with it. At least for the next hour stuck in this building. After that, she is free. She can go anywhere. Leave if she wants and never look back. Then it wont matter what they think of her or what Morgan says. Just a little bit longer she has to keep it together.

She hasn't even told Morgan the worst part. That she was the one who blew her cover. Intentionally. He might forgive her lapse in judgement at not calling it quits when she knew her identity was blown. But she went right to him, told him everything, about her identity, about the case. All but gave him an invitation to murder her, and made sure he left enough evidence to convict him. Morgan doesn't need to know that much, she wont put that on him. And besides, what is one more secret to keep?

"Why did Hotch send you here?" Emily asks him.

He isn't sure he should tell her, but he does, because he wants desperately for things to go back to normal. "There was another murder."

"It's too soon to be related." She protests.

"Maybe so." Morgan admits. "Look, if I don't do this, Hotch will. You know I'm not out to get you, I just need to know if there is a chance this is our guy."

"If there was anything that could help you, I would tell you." She is almost pleading with him. "What kind of person do you think I am? I know I blew my cover, but that didn't endanger anyone but me. I would never keep information from the team that would help catch him. Do you really think I would?"

"I think that you might not even know that some of the information is important to the case. You know that. How many times have you said that to people? Look , you volunteered for this case, and you must have known that by going undercover you were the person who had the most access to his life, and that we were going to need that information."

He is right and she knows it. "Fine." She tells him. Thats a valid point. She already confessed to Morgan anyway she has nothing left to fear.

"Let's start again. Close your eyes." He asks of her.

She does it, because he asks it of her, because it pleases him. And thats all she wanted, for the team to be happy with her again, to please them.

She is going along with his wishes, but he feels uneasy. As if the harder he pushes her the further she will retreat. And more than anything he does not want to be the one to push her over the edge. This is the biggest problem of all, that because of his concern for her he isn't able to do his job properly. He has to get past it somehow, because one way or another they need this information. And if she has any chance of keeping her position on the team, he has to learn to trust her again.

"From the beginning." Morgan tells her. "And don't leave anything out."

She tries, for his sake, for her own, to go along with him. But there are so many things she can't tell him, and it's so hard to sort out what information she can tell him and what she must keep to herself. She can't let anything slip that she does not want him to hear. And its harder than it looks, to pretend she is being totally forthright.

It doesn't take him long to realise she is holding back. He sighs in exasperation, realising he is getting nowhere. He stands to his feet, walking across to the other side of the room.

"Morgan..." She begins. He had been so sweet to her, he had always been there for her. Giving her chance after chance, keeping her secrets, protecting her from the rest of the team and their questions. And he asked only one thing in return, that she was honest, told him everything.

"Don't, just don't." He snaps at her, slamming his hand down on Rossi's desk in frustration. "If you aren't going to do this properly then lets quit wasting out time."

She says nothing, there is nothing she can say. Finally he turns to her. "I'm trying to catch this guy, that's all, and I'm trying to help you Prentiss, I don't understand what the problem is." He tells her.

She doesn't explain what her problem is, nor apologise, it would only sound empty. "Tell me about the latest victim." She says, hoping somehow to move forward, but knowing with a sinking feeling that it wont be that simple.

Morgan wants to tell her nothing. To say- hey you wont co-operate with me, why should I tell you anything? But he doesn't. He is frustrated, but not angry. He wants to understand wants to reach her. And getting angry isn't going to get him anywhere. Instead he answers her. "A blonde lady, from Florida."

"Blonde?" Emily queries. "That doesn't fit the profile. And its soon to be killing again, too soon for him."

"We think because JJ interrupted his ..plans..." Morgan says awkwardly "That he might have broke his pattern, maybe target a surrogate for JJ to take his rage out on." Morgan explains.

Heart skipped a beat "Why JJ?" 

"She broke up his fantasy."

"She didn't. He already knew it was a trick. Knew I was FBI long before JJ came in." Emily is quick to respond, but inside she is haunted by the things she told him, him of all people, about how she loved JJ. She didn't say her name, of course, but she is sure he put it together whenJJ came after her. JJ could be in danger and its all her fault. Maybe he does blame JJ in some way, for losing her.

"Maybe... it's just an idea. We aren't even officially working the case, and we are stuck in lockdown, just thought we would take a look and see."

"JJ could be in danger." Emily realises with horror.

"Doubt it. He had you and JJ, could have killed you then, he didn't." Morgan tries to reassure her.

"Exactly, so why go after a surrogate when he had the real thing, and why kill so quickly, he enjoys time with his...victims." the word sat uneasy with her. It made her a victim, even if it was a pretend victim in an undercover operations..

"You don't think its him, this latest murder?" Morgan asks.

"No." Emily tells him. "I really don't."

"But you think JJ might be in danger? Or you? That he might come back finish the job?" He asks.

"I don't know" Emily is forced to admit. "Maybe."

"Something you're not telling me?" Morgan asks softly, wondering if she will answer.

"Something is different this time..." She muses.

"How so?"

"I don't know. But we can't take any chances."

Morgan doesn't know if she really can't put her finger on what is different or if she is merely keeping him in the dark. Either way, she is right. They can't take a chance.

"Of course not. I'll make sure there is someone watching you and JJ until we get to the bottom of this." He promises.

The last thing she wants to be watched, but she needs JJ to be safe, she she can't very well object.

"I guess you have nothing else to tell me?"

She hesitates, and for a moment he thinks she might finally let him in and tell him what is going on. That thought hadn't occurred to her. What she wants to tell him is that she is so sorry, she wants to beg him not to leave, not just yet. It felt safe when he was with her, almost like she could believe him that everything would be ok. The fact that he was going to walk out of the room so angry at her, that she had let him down, disappointed him, it makes her feel like she can't breathe. But she can't find the words to tell him that, and so she answers him. "No, that's it." And looks away.

"Ok then." He says, and reaches for the door. There was little he could do, actually NOTHING he could do, if she wouldn't let him. Hotch was waiting for his report, and he somehow had to think of what he was going to say. And Emily very clearly had nothing to say to him. He didn't know what else he had to do to prove to her that she could trust him. Truthfully he is more angry at her that she won't tell him what is going on, than the fact she did something so stupid and put herself in danger. That she made a fool of him, as he stood there telling Hotch that there wasn't one single thing wrong, and no way Emily blew her cover. It was a stupid thing to do, but it was done, and he could have let it go if he just understood, if he believed her that it wouldn't happen again, if she would look him in the eye and talk to him. Strangely, he finds it hard to be angry at her in the first place, because he sees that she is struggling, that she is sorry. But it's hard to remember when she is so insistent on shutting him out. And no matter how much pain and regret he sees, how much he wants to help, the fact she wont let him is the thing that makes him snap. The thing that makes him want to walk away and never look back.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

"What about Seattle?" Reid asks.

"Nothing." JJ dismisses, far to late. That last comment had caught her off guard. And she knows she has given far too much away. "So you're saying he is in Seattle?"JJ tries to change the subject, and pull herself together.

"I didn't say that." Reid begins, but Hotch motions for him to be quiet.

"What about Seattle then?" She presses.

"You tell us." Hotch answers.

"You brought it up." She reminds him.

"Did you make any comment to Garcia, or anyone, indicating that this unsub was heading to Seattle?" Hotch asks her.

"No." She answers, confused. "Why would I say that? I don't know where he is going , if I did I would have said so!" She asserts defensively.

"But Seattle means something to you?" Hotch presses her.

"Nothing thats relevant to this case." She answers quickly.

He is shocked momentarily by her lack of co-operation. As the senior agent he is in charge. If he asks her for information, she gives it. End of story. He has never had this kind of issue with her before. He knows there are things under the surface he isn't privy to, but he doesn't begin to understand why she has taken this defensive attitude towards him. Why she has such a negative attitude about this particular case.

"You may possess information valuable to the case." He reminds her, treading carefully, seeing just where this is going. He really shouldn't have to remind her of such things.

"I have no information relevant to the case." She asserts bitterly. She is angry, so angry, and Hotch can not work out why. Reid shifts uncomfortably in the chair, not wanting to be a part of this.

Hotch pauses, taking a breath. Trying not to let his frustration show

"I would like to be the judge of whether the information is relevant to the case." He tells her, calmly, deliberately avoiding getting swept up in her anger, or showing her anger at her insubordination.

JJ makes no answer.

"Reid, would you leave us." Hotch orders.

"He can stay." JJ protests, before Reid has a chance to move.

"I asked him to leave, go help Garcia please, Reid. Now."

"Ok." Reid mumbles, shooting JJ a sympathetic glance.

"I'm trying very hard to understand what is going on here." Hotch says patiently.

She shrugs "I don't know what you want me to say."

"What is it about this case?" He asks.

"Not everything is about this case. What is it about this case that you all are so obsessed with?" She asks in return.

He deliberately does not answer. "So, you are refusing to co-operate, is that what you are telling me?"

"I have told you all I know, I went along with your cognitive interview, I answered your questions." She asserts.

"You didn't answer my question about Seattle."

"Ask Emily." JJ tells him.

"Why?" Hotch demands.

"I don't know why you are asking me about Seattle. If you have something to ask, ask Emily. If he knows about Seattle its because Emily told him. Ask her. Ask her how he knew her name, she probably told him that too! And all because you sent her in there." JJ throws back at him.

He sits, collecting his thoughts. It's not that he is shocked by her allegation. He has already been wondering how far Emily would go to catch this guy. To think she knew her cover was blown wasn't too much of a stretch. To think she deliberately went out of her way to blow her cover- that was another thing all together. It's not the first time JJ has voiced her anger at him for being the one to approve Emily going undercover either. He has already discussed this with her and yet she can't seem to let it go. He purposefully does not comment about Emily.. "I did not say that the un sub mentioned Seattle. I asked if it meant anything to you."

"It means nothing to me." She tells him darkly.

"Would it surprise you to know there has been another murder. We are looking into the possibility that this is the same perpetrator." He shifts the focus of the conversation.

"In Seattle?" JJ asks.

"Would that mean something if it was?"

"Not to me."

"What do you think about the possibility of a new victim?"

"Why ask me? I am the least qualified, least experienced, least trusted member of this team. Ask the others." She says, regretting it instantly, it only makes her sound immature.

He doesn't waste time assuring her of her value. "I'm asking you. That's your job, to investigate these cases. So I am asking for your professional opinion, if you still consider yourself part of this team that is." He lets that last part slip inspite of himself.

"Is that some kind of threat? You think you can hold my job over my head because I don't answer personal questions?"

"JJ." He begins, quite astounded by her outburst and behaviour. "I made no such threat. Frankly your behaviour is a great concern for me. But I am aware this case in particular has been difficult on everyone. I am confident we can all take a step back and remain professional and do our job. If not, that's a problem. Now, your thoughts about another murder..."

"Shouldn't we discuss this as a team?"

"We will, but I like to hear your thoughts first."

"It's too soon." She says instantly. "For another victim. Doesn't really fit the pattern."

"He was interrupted with Emily, might have forced a change in pattern?" Hotch suggests.

"He has been interrupted before, and he could have killed me and Emily. He had the chance. He didn't, couldn't, because he hadn't played out the fantasy first. But if the victimology and MO is consistent I suppose it cant be ruled out." She tells him, thinking aloud.

"The MO is partially consistent, but a change in victimology." Hotch tells her. "Same age and socioeconomic background, but blonde hair."

"He has never targeted blonde women." She reminds him.

He knows this. And wonders if she has made the connection yet in her own mind. "There was a thought that perhaps the victim might be a surrogate. For you. After all, in his mind you are the one responsible for ruining his plans with Emily." Hotch explains carefully, watching her reaction.

She sighs, shaking her head. "That would be right." She says. "I did the right thing going in there, you wont convince me otherwise. If I hadn't he would have killed Emily. And what do I get for my trouble? All of you take her side, accuse me of acting too emotionally, and now I have a psychotic serial killer after me."

"You seem very angry." He observes. She hadn't seemed worried about her safety, or even Emily's. She was still so angry, and he can't get to the bottom of it.

"Give me a break. Stop profiling me. I'm not the criminal."

"So you believe that you could be in danger?" He presses her.

"Possibly, Emily too I Suppose."

"He has never gone back to other victims before." Hotch reminds her. "Even unfinished victims who got away."

"He did a lot of things differently this time." JJ tells him, thinking to herself that Emily did a lot of things differently too.

"I can arrange for some security until we are certain of his whereabouts."

"Can I go now?" JJ asks, a little too restlessly.

"You made some very serious allegations about Agent Prentiss and her conduct in the field. I would like to discuss that further."

Until that moment Jennifer hadn't thought of it as an allegation agains Emily, though Hotch was right, she was plenty angry at Emily. She thought of it as an allegation against Hotch, against Morgan, against the team. They never should have sent Emily in there. Morgan should have been watching closely. JJ hadn't stopped to think that it was Emily who was responsible for her actions, her choices. And that reporting this to Hotch is bound to have serious consequences. On one hand she was so terrified at what Emily had become, and so desperate for Hotch to see, to listen, to believe, and to do something. On the other hand, that would mean the end of Emily's career. She hopes she is mistaken. That she is crazy and seeing things that aren't there. But the fear of losing Emily again, for good this time, was too much to take. No matter how hard she tried to cover up for her, and she cant say she tried very hard. Partly because she was angry, but partly she was afraid. And frustratingly powerless to help.

"I didn't mean..." JJ stammers, wanting to take it all back. But she knows Emily wont listen to her, Emily wont listen to anyone, and maybe this is the only way to keep her safe. Maybe this team wasn't big enough for the two of them anymore. And no matter how this played out, she knows one of them has to go. She simply isn't capable of doing her job under these conditions. And she doesn't see any way out. She had covered for Emily, more than once, lately. Thinking it was in Emily's best interests. Thinking she could help her. But Emily crossed a line. And JJ doesn't know any other way. Still, she doesn't tell everything she knows. She feels bad enough being the one to tell this much. Feels bad enough knowing that Hotch has to act on this, to dig into Emily's actions and decisions, dig into her life. But what else can she do, what can she say? "Look, maybe you are right, it's been a stressful case, and maybe I was wrong..." Even as she says it, its not convincing. She already insisted so strongly that she was right. She knows Hotch sees right through all of this, but she cant bring herself to stop.

"I will get to the bottom of this." He says, confidently.

"You shouldn't take my word, ask Emily." Now that she is believed, taken seriously, suddenly she wants to take it all back. She is so confused, like Hotch said she is angry, at him, at Emily, but deeper than that she is afraid. Terrified.

"I have asked her, you heard her answer me. More than once. She insists that her cover was solid and there was no issue with the case."

"Well then." Is all JJ can say.

"One of you must be mistaken." He points out.

"Guess so."

"And clearly both of you have found this case stressful."

"Guess so." She says again.

"Perhaps it would help if we discussed this together."

"I don't really think..."

"We may never know what was going on in the unsubs mind. And frankly- it does not matter at this point for the outcome of the case. My deeper concerns are about this team and it's ability to function. Something has gone wrong in this case, and I can't have the team out in the field until it is resolved. I have already taken responsibility for my judgement to send Emily undercover. But it has become clear there are deeper issues, and while they may be personal issues, I can not have the team affected like this. We have to trust each other, to be on the same page. We are responsible for each others lives, as well as the victims and people we interact with. This is not acceptable conduct from either of you."

"What about the latest victim?" JJ tries desperately to distract Hotch. Last thing she wanted was to be stuck in a room with Emily while Hotch profiled the both of them. Partly because it was personally uncomfortable, but more so because she has seen the darkness in Emily's eyes. And while she is desperate to reach her, she is at the same time deeply afraid of what will happen if that darkness takes over.

"I will see what the rest of the team thinks." Hotch tells her. "As we are on lock down we can't be any real assistance, I will have our findings passed on to the police in the area. Nothing more we can do at this juncture. The likelihood is this case isn't related. And I feel it is important to sort this issue out tonight."

"I understand sir, but I don't think..." She tries, even calling him 'Sir', but he is determined to get to the bottom of this.

"Please wait here while I ask Agent Prentiss to join us." He says it nicely, calmly, but there is no mistaking the fact it is a direct order, and despite the way she has behaved tonight, the things she has said to him, to Emily, she hasn't got it in her to disobey this time. And even if she did, they are on lock down, she has nowhere to go.


End file.
